ARTEMIS FOWL PARENT MOVIE REVIEW
It’s magic and fairies and pixies, but is Artemis Fowl safe for kids? This parent movie review will help you decide if the newest movie on Disney+ is kid friendly. And don’t forget to check out the Artemis Fowl movie quotes from Mulch Diggums: he has the best lines!
What’s Artemis Fowl About?
Disney’s “Artemis Fowl,” based on the beloved book by Eoin Colfer, is a fantastical, spellbinding adventure that follows the journey of 12-year-old genius Artemis Fowl, a descendant of a long line of criminal masterminds, as he desperately tries to save his father who has been kidnapped.
In order to pay his ransom, Artemis must infiltrate an ancient, underground civilization—the amazingly advanced world of fairies—and bring the kidnapper the Aculos, the fairies’ most powerful and coveted magical device.
To locate the elusive object, cunning Artemis concocts a dangerous plan—so dangerous that he ultimately finds himself in a perilous war of wits with the all-powerful fairies.
Run Time: 1hour 35 minutes
Is Artemis Fowl Safe For Kids?
Artemis Fowl was supposed to be a big, splashy theatrical release last August. It was pushed back to this May, and then once things went a little crazy, Disney finally decided to push it straight to Disney+ for streaming.
That can be interpreted as a sign that the movie is, well, less than up to Disney theatrical standards.
And that would be an accurate assessment.
Director Kenneth Branagh pulled together some huge names that should have carried the film, but they don’t.
Colin Farrell, Judi Dench- who was totally miscast for a number of reasons- and Josh Gad don’t harm the film, but they also don’t pull enough of the focus to save it either.
It is beautiful and vibrant, with colors that contrast and pop. But the gorgeous visuals cannot save this struggling story once it gets started.
Frankly, it’s just confusing.
Lovers of the Artemis Fowl books: be warned. The movie is not true to your beloved stories and you will be disappointed.
If you don’t know the story from the books, then maybe you’ll find this entertaining.
But as a standalone movie, is Artemis Fowl safe for kids? How kid-friendly is the movie?
This Artemis Fowl parent movie review will help you decide if your family can stream this one on Disney+.
Artemis Fowl Parent Movie Review
This source story and even the movie are meant to be consumed by kids.
With that in mind, Artemis Fowl is overall safe for kids. Safe is one thing; understandable by young kids is another!
There are some moments that families should be aware of for young kids watching this fantastical movie.
Language In Artemis Fowl
I didn’t catch a lot of profane language to be concerned about.
Phrases like shut up are used.
Compared to the books, I do think some of the sarcastic and caustic lines have been toned down just a bit. And it’s not nearly as funny as the books, though Gad does provide a few chuckles.
Artemis Fowl Action and Peril
Artemis’ father is kidnapped and put in chains. You see him in distress a few times, and kids could have issues with that.
There are weapons akin to blasters in the movie as well. “Take the shot!” is repeated a few times if your family is sensitive to this kind of violence.
Trolls play a big part in throwing humans around. The good news is that trolls are not real, so your kids probably won’t be too scared to watch this.
But in case they are sensitive to large hairy monsters tossing people around, here is your heads up!
There’s also an explosion after a ball of fire goes up a goblin nose which is a bit intense.
Nudity, Sex, Etc. in Artemis Fowl: Parent Movie Review
Nothing really stands out like dirt coming out of a dwarf’s booty!
That’s as close as you get to sexual content in this one.
Overall, is Artemis Fowl safe for kids?
It’s generally kid-friendly even if it’s not a great movie or even a decent adaption of the books. And I can’t say it will hold the youngest children’s attention for long.
As I said: it’s confusing. And that might be the kindest parent movie review of Artemis Fowl you’ll find.
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Patty Holliday is a movie critic, writer, and podcaster living in the Washington, DC area. Her goal is to bridge the gap between casual fandom and picky critic with parent movie and television reviews.