Let’s party like The 99 this year with the best quotes from Brooklyn 99 Christmas Episodes. Amy keeps trying to give presents to Holt and Gina, of course, has to save the day. It’s Noice! ps – check out The Office Christmas episode quotes too.
Ah, The Brooklyn 99 Christmas episodes.
They are hands down some of the funniest moments of the series.
While we said goodbye to the squad this year in season 8, we certainly have a lot of holiday joy to look back on.
Here are the best quotes from the Brooklyn 99 Christmas episodes.
List Of The Brooklyn 99 Episodes
- Season 1, Episode 11
- Season 2, Episode 10
- Season 3, Episode 10
- Season 4, Episode 10
- Season 5, Episode 10
Best Quotes From Brooklyn 99 Christmas Episodes
- Jake: Boyle, frisk the skinny one.
Charles: I’ve gone 42 years without a lump of coal. I’m not gonna start now.
- Amy: Sir, I’m sure you had your reasons for going to Peralta, but this is exactly the type of job I would love to have.
Captain Holt: Okay, the next time someone threatens to kill me, I’ll come straight to you.
Amy: Thank you, sir. I can’t wait. I didn’t mean- Let’s catch this bastard.
- Charles: That’s right. Boom. Just kicked Santa in the testicles.
- Jake: Wow, I think I really would have gotten along with young Ray Holt.
Captain Holt: Yes, that’s why I decided to change everything about my life.
More quotes from the Brooklyn 99 Christmas episodes
- Jake: Woah, woah, woah. Where are you going, Cold Mountain? I changed your codename.
Captain Holt: To use the restroom.
Jake: I’m only asking this for your safety. Is it a number one or a number two? Your silence indicates number two.
- Jake: And a very Merry Christmas to you, Captain. Ho, ho, ho!
Deputy Chief Gerber: Captain Holt has received a number of death threats.
Jake: Oh, I really came in here with the wrong energy.
- Charles: Hit him in his fat, rosy cheeks.
Jake: Oh, that felt wrong.
- Amy: Now, the Captain won’t allow us to give him all the presents we bought him.
Rosa: You are the only one that did that.
- Gina: I could take a pic of myself dressed up as an elf. “Elfie selfie.”
- Jake: Awesome. I’m great at secrets. Santiago got you like six presents.
- Captain Holt: Attention everybody, holidays of many cultures approach. This truly is a joyful time. Join me for a festive Winter party at Shaw’s Bar this Friday, 7-9. Any questions
Scully: AM or PM?
Captain Holt: I’m gonna let you figure that one out.
- Amy: I asked the captain what qualified as a gift and he said anything I spend money on. Then I realized, my time is worth nothing.
Sergeant Jeffords: Sounds like you’re bragging, but that’s just a sad statement.
- Amy: Not a gift, snitch. It didn’t cost me anything. Just my worthless man hours.
- Captain Holt: Also, I’d like to reiterate my gift policy: none allowed. Enjoy this Merry Season.
- Amy: Nog! Nog! A little Christmas humor.
Captain Holt: Yes, the Nog from Egg-Nog used in place of knock.
- Gina: Oh, my God! I have an idea. Let’s open presents. I wanna see what everyone got everyone and how everyone reacts poorly.
- Jake: Ho, ho, ho, Merry Christmas! Whoa, thank you, good sir! The elves will not starve this night.
- Jake: Take a good look, kids. This is what happens when you’re naughty!
- Jake: I was just so focused on Amy’s gift that I completely spaced, and his present to me was so personal. Okay, think, what does Charles love? Gross food, tan pants, Masterchef Junior. Ooh, I could call up one of those kids and offer them a free trip to New York.
Gina: I wouldn’t do that.
Jake: Right, because I’m a stranger and I shouldn’t be luring them out of state. Good call.
- Jake: Gina, you just saved Christmas.
Gina: It’s what I do. Every d@mn year.
- Charles: Yippie kayak, other buckets! (arguably the BEST quotes from the Brooklyn 99 Christmas episodes).
- Jake: NYPD! Stop where you are! Come on, Santa. Why are you so fat?
- Jake: Ho, ho, ho, and a bottle of rum. Presents!
Rosa: God, you’re bad at being Santa.
- Captain Holt: Diaz, are we still on for the polar bear swim tonight?
Rosa: It’s either that or go carolling with my family, so yeah. I’d rather walk into the freezing ocean.
- Jake: Oh my God, it’s real life Die Hard. I mean, oh, no, crime.
- Gina: Let’s fry these b!tches!
- Jake: It’s also not necessary to touch my face.
Charles: It’s Christmas. A time for friendship.
- Jake: So, just to recap, you left an unmarked package on a police captain’s desk on a random Monday with a suspicious message written on it that looked like it was scrawled by a crazy person.
Captain Holt: Bomb. There’s a bomb. Everyone out! Let’s go. This is not a drill.
Jake: Great gift, babe.
- Jake: This is my John McClane moment.
- Charles: How are going to get past them without a gun fight?
Jake: I’ll tell you how John McClane would do it. The vents.
- Jake: We’re at Goodwins. There are multiple gun men. They’ve blocked all the exits. They’ve taken the security guards hostage and we’re looking for a place to hide. It’s awesome.
Sergeant Jeffords: Awesome?
Jake: Awesomely serious. I am not enjoying this no matter how much it is 100% my favorite movie come to life.
Enjoy these quotes from Brooklyn 99 Christmas episodes!
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